Strong

The Strong appointment went very well.  We got to the office at around 1 pm for the appointment.  We met Dr. H right away as well as the head IVF nurse and the finance woman (can't remember her name).  Dr. H had already reviewed my records from my OB and from Buffalo so she was aware of my 5 IUIs with femara and 4 with injectables along with MFI.  Right off the bat she agreed that IVF was the best route for us- yay for agreeing on that!

We both had to do some basic blood work today and Matt had to produce a sample on the spot to freeze.  That would allow us to have backup in case of issues on the day of retrieval.  I have to call as soon as my period comes, which could be at any time (I've been spotting since Sunday).  Once that happens I call and schedule day 2/3 blood work and ultrasound to rule out pregnancy and get moving on the birth control.  I also have to schedule a repeat saline sonohysterogram.  I did this at my OB back in 2009 but she wanted and update to make sure things still look OK.  We're hoping that I can just do it any my regular OB and save a trip to Rochester.  I have my annual tomorrow so I'm going to ask if that is possible. 

We have that much planned out so far.  After I start the birth control, we will hopefully go back for our med teaching appointment.  She said she was planning on using lupron and then follistim, so I can kiss my Bravelle goodbye.  Once that is set, I can get moving onto the mock transfer and the meds.  We are hoping to get the retrieval the week that I am off in April (the week of the 18th) but honestly we just want to get moving on it all.  I rarely take anytime off from work and have over 140 hours right now.  I figure that if I have to use it for this, it will be worth it. 

I think that is pretty much everything.  I'm hoping for my full period to hold off until after my OB appointment at 1:20 tomorrow but to start soon so that I can get the day 2/3 stuff set this week with no school.  I'm excited to have a plan again.  I am so much more optimistic about all of this now than I was a few months ago.  The time to just relax was the best thing for us. 

"Believe it is possible to solve your problem. Tremendous things happen to the believer. So believe the answer will come. It will." ~Norman Vincent Peale

Infertility and T.V. shows

I've noticed that a few T.V. shows are touching on the issue of infertility lately. 

1.  Guiliana and Bill- It is a reality show.  It shows how the couple struggled to conceive, got pregnant through their first round of IVF, miscarried and had a 2nd unsuccessful round of IVF.  It's actually nice to see real people share their story as Hollywood always makes things look so perfect.

2.  How I Met Your Mother- At the end of last season, Marshall and Lily decided to start their family.  Over the first part of the season the characters talked about their frustration of not getting pregnant and how tough it can be.  In January they did an episode where Marshall and Lily saw and RE for testing.  They left off with things testing ok but still no pregnancy.  I love this show- it is probably my favorite show on T.V.

3.  Grey's Anatomy-  Meridith and McDreamy got pregnant at the end of last season but she miscarried in the middle of the shooting during the season finale.  Early this season she saw a doc and got testing done and found out she had an issue that she would have to take meds to help with it.  Still no pregnancy.  Last night Meridith and McDreamy share a scene where it looks like they are doing a quickie in the elevator.  Turns out he was giving her a hormone injection.  Another great show and it will be interesting to see where this goes.

4.  Rules of Engagement- I'm not as familiar with this show but watched it a few times.  One of the episodes I watched featured the main married couple mentioning that they could not get pregnant and that they were looking to find a surrogate. 

It's almost comforting to see infertility in the media.  It feels like it is such a hush hush topic normally.  But it is much more common that most people think.

1 week left

Next week will be a week off from school (woohoo) and our IVF meeting at Strong.  I am so ready for this now.  I'll admit that I'm nervous about starting the whole process but also optimistic as well.  If you would have told me 2 years ago, when we were in the beginning stages of TTC, that we would be at this point, I would have laughed.  It's been hard to accept that we won't have that surprise of getting pregnant.  But I'm here for the end result- being a mommy.

2 more weeks

The wait is making me crazy.  We still have 2 more weeks until our IVF meeting at Strong.  I am so ready to just move forward and just know how things are going to turn out.  I need our new plan because wondering about it all and the what if's just make me nuts.  Hopefully these next 9 days of school will fly by. 

Records

I finally got a copy of my records from my current RE to bring to our appointment with our new doc on the 21st.  It's amazing how a year of so many ups and downs can just be summarized in about 60 pages.  Everything sounds so technical.  Every procedure, every test, every appointment  described with details in these pages.  That's the thing about infertility.  There is the technical, paperwork side of it- the part that happens in a doctor's office.  And then there is the emotional side that doesn't show up in a chart.  It's the emotions behind those procedures, the ups and downs, that stay with me each day.  I'm thankful for the time we've taken away from the office and the paperwork side of it all.  I'm glad because I feel stronger than I did a few months ago.  That emotional part of me was a complete mess after our last failure in early December.  I cried for a few nights straight and walked around like a zombie.  I went through the daily actions needed for my job and life but I wasn't really living it.  I really didn't know if I could go forward with things and how to cope with it.  I didn't think I could take one more let down and broken heart from a negative pregnancy test.  But I think that now I am doing better.  I know that we are taking the tougher path to start our family but I have to be optimistic that things will work out.  I'm ready to start the IVF procedures and I think I am physically and emotionally ready to start new records with (hopefully) a better outcome.

-7

As of this morning, I've lost 7 pounds since the beginning of 2011!  Yay!  I want to try and lose as much as possible before IVF.  We are still meeting with the docs at Strong in February.  It would be ideal if we could just get started and hopefully do the IVF in April with the retrieval and transfer being the week that I'm off from school.  I'm so ready to move forward and start this process.  The 21st can't come soon enough.

Support Group

I remember the first time I went to the office support group I was so unbelievably nervous.  How could I spill all my insecurities about our infertility issues with a room of strangers??  No one could possibly understand how I felt and I had to be crazy for how I was feeling.  Somewhere over the past six months, these ladies (and sometimes husbands) have become much more than strangers in the doctor's office.  I no longer just see this group as random people going through the same struggles as we've been going through.  I really do see them as genuine friends.  I feel so fortunate to have such a wonderful support group to share all the ups and downs of this inferility journey with.  As another member said tonight, I can't wait until the day that this infertility support group becomes our play group the share wonderful memories with as our kids grow up.