One week of waiting down...

One week of my wait is over.  I think I'm losing my mind already.  I'm over analyzing everything going on.  I've been off and on crampy since my transfer on Wednesday and keep thinking that it has to be my period.  I've sat on the computer, googled pictures of embryos and their quality, and compared them to mine.  I've been optimistic and I've been a pessimist.  I just don't know what to think.  I don't know how I would handle another heart break- especially after all we just went through with the IVF. 

I have tried to keep busy.  I recently finished reading the book "When We Were Friends" by Elizabeth Joy Arnold.  It was a fantastic book and I would highly recommend it to anyone.  I also saw the movie "Crazy, Stupid, Love" yesterday.  It was super funny and cute.  A little retail therapy also helped to pass the time yesterday as well!  I have 2 more weeks left of summer vacation (charter schools have longer school years).  I'm looking forward to a new bunch of students but not looking forward to going back to work and early mornings quite yet. 

Transfer

We had our transfer yesterday morning.  Our embryos were a little behind in terms of growth but Dr. H said that is should still be OK and they picked the best 2 to transfer.  It was pretty easy- kind of like an IUI.  I had some cramping for the rest of the day but it was tolerable.  I go for blood work tomorrow to check my estrogen and progesterone level (I get 50 units of P.I.O. each day already).  Our official blood test is on August 6th.  Here is a picture of our 2 embryos:

We did get some disappointing news this morning, however. None of our remaining embryos made it to the blast stage for freezing. I almost started crying on the phone when we got the call.  I hate to feel disappointed but I was really hoping we would have something- just in case. Now I'm worried that maybe the 2 little ones in me won't make it and that scares me to death. We still have the 3 that they froze at the one cell stage and would get insurance coverage for 2 more cycles...I just don't want to think about having to do it again.

Waiting

Tomorrow is the big day of the transfer.  I haven't heard any updates from the RE's office since Saturday.  I'm figuring that no news is good news.  The transfer is set for 11 am.  They already froze 3, which is very encouraging.  That leaves 15 of 18 fertilized embryos for tomorrow (assuming they are all still growing).  The plan is to transfer 2 and freeze whatever remains.  It's a weird feeling knowing that somewhere there are little pieces of Matt and I growing together to create a new life.  I honestly feel hopeful for the first time in 2.5 years.

A dozen and a Half

We got a call this morning from Dr. S, the IVF lab director, with our fertilization report.  Of our 46 eggs, 28 were mature and 18 fertilized!!  We are so excited!  We never expected this type of number to work with!!  Dr. S said that we are still planning on going forward with a 5 day transfer on July 27th.  He will, however, keep an eye on things and can change it to a day 3 of growth slows, which would be on Monday. 
I'm feeling better today- not quite as much pain.  Matt did his first progesterone oil injection on his own this morning as well (he helped give it to me yesterday).  It wasn't as bad as I expected and he did a good job!  My plan is to just take it easy the rest of the weekend and enjoy some relaxation, movies and time with Matt and Lucky.

Retrieval

The retrieval went quite well this morning. We drove to Rochester last night and got to the office at 7 am. I went back and got hooked up to the IVs (and bled all over the place but at least she got it in). The waiting/recovery area had places for a few patients and Matt got to be with me for all but the actual procedure. After meeting the doctor, Dr. G rather than Dr. H, I walked back to the procedure room and got my nap. According to Matt I was out for about 20 minutes. He heard me blabbing with doc and nurses, then I got silent. Then they were saying my name, waking me up and got me back out to the recovery.

I have no memories of any of this! I guess I kept asking how Lucky (my dog) was doing (we left her alone last night) and asking about the number of eggs. So here is the big news...Dr. G retrieved 46 eggs!! I am in complete shock right now. I thought Matt kept saying 4 until I was little more with it. I still can't believe it. I'm paying for it some now with quite a lot of pain. I was able to get a prescription pain killer, so that has been helping some. We got discharged at around 10:30 ish so it was a fairly quick morning. Dr. G insured me that the lab was going to have a busy morning doing ICSI on those eggs!!

Now I'm just waiting for my call tomorrow for info on fertilization. The hope is that they will have a good deal of eggs fertilize and in good quality. If that happens, I'll be doing a 5 day transfer and hopefully go in on Wednesday. I'm hoping that the quantity of the eggs doesn't hurt the quality of the eggs and we get some great embryos.  Thank you to all of the wonderful messages of support that I've been getting. It means the world to me!

Time to Trigger

Holy crap!  My folicles are good to go!!  I take my trigger shot (Ovidrel) tonight at 8 pm.  Tomorrow will be a joyous day of no injections and Friday will be my egg retrieval!!  I have so many emotions whipping through my brain right now.  Excited about the real possibility of getting pregnant.  Nervous about not having enough eggs or something going wrong.  Overwhelmed on the possibility of it not working.  That's the part that scares me the most.  It's crazy to think that we are actually ready for this.  I am going to try and remain calm and not freak out when this all goes down on Friday!  By the way, here is a picture of my follicle sizes as they measured this morning.  The nurse had a tough time getting some into focus so who knows what will actually come about on Friday. 

Update

My estrogen level is now at 3297- I guess that is good!  There were too many folicles to keep track of this morning (at least for me) and my biggest was almost at 15.  Ahh I can't believe how close we are to the retrieval!!  It could be by the end of the week!! 

Just keep growing

Today brought on another ultrasound and blood work.  Dr. H did my ultrasound today and said that everything was looking great.  I had 11 follicles on my left side (13 was the biggest measurement) and 4 on the right side.  My blood work level is now at 1200.  I'm continuing on the same doses and return for a repeat on Monday morning.  Dr. H is thinking that my retrieval will most likely be either Thursday or Friday of next week!  I sometimes can't even rationally imagine in my head that we are actually doing IVF.  I never would have, in my wildest of dreams, imagined that we would be here.  And now here we are- a week away from the retrieval and a few days further from transferring real embryos.  I hope that we get lucky this time around- I can only hope for a miracle.

First Ultrasound

Everything is looking good so far.  I had my first round of blood work on Tuesday and my estrogen level was at 72.  At that point my Gonal-f was upped to 225 IU and Menopur remained at 150.  I had my first ultrasound this morning.  I have 12 follicles (9 on the left, 3 on the right) - all below 10 right now.  My estrogen is now up to 461!  My meds are staying the same and I go back in Saturday morning for another round of blood work and another ultrasound.  Other than a nasty headache the last few days, things are going well.

I did have a slight mishap last night.  I drove to stay with my sister at her apartment closer to the doctor's office.  I did well with remembering all the meds but forgot the QCap for the Menopur.  So I improvised and used the needle to draw up the meds.  I had a slight panic attack with that!  Hopefully it will all be done by next week at this time!

Three Shots a Day

Tonight I added in Menopur to my nightly routine of shots.  As I somewhat expected, it stung some going in.  Other than that, I'm doing ok.  I also had my Gonal-f shot, which was definitely easier than the Menopur.  The damage from tonight is shown below in a photo.  I have a 6:40 am blood work appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning. 

I'm feeling hopeful tonight- a dear friend in my support group found out she was pregnant today!  We needed some good news!  I know I call them the support group but they are dear friends to me now and I couldn't be happier for her and her husband!!  I can only hope to be so lucky with our upcoming IVF!

Stim baby stim

Last night I took my first dose of Gonal-f (300 IU).  This med was completely new to me so I was a little bit nervous about taking it.  I watched the video online a few times (yeah, I'm loser) so that I felt more comfortable with doing it.  Everything went well- no bleeding or bruising so far.  I do 300 IU again tonight then decrease to 150 IU tomorrow while I add in 150 IU of Menopur.  I've heard quite a few negatives about Menopur so I'm not looking forward to that.  I go for blood work Tuesday morning and get new directions after that.  So far I'm feeling pretty good about it all.

CD1

My period started today...yay!  I also had blood work, my baseline ultrasound and mock transfer with Dr. H.  I am happy to report that everything went well.  My ovaries looked great- no cysts!  The mock transfer was fine too.  Dr. H used 2 different catheters and was able to measure my uterus so she will know where to deposit the embryos.  After that Matt and I signed a bunch of consent forms and reviewed the calendar one more time with one of the nurses.  I am so happy and excited to be moving forward with all of this!

Done with the pill

I am officially done with taking the birth control...after 5 weeks!  Woohoo!  I will not miss taking that silly little pill each day.  I'm 6 days into Lupron as of this morning.  I had a couple of mornings with a great amount of redness at the injection site but that seems to have cleared up.  My boobs are sore and I feel bloated too.  At least I haven't had any severe side effects that could come along with it.

As ready as I am to move forward with everything that comes along with IVF, I also realize that I am getting more nervous about it.  I'm not necessarily nervous about the shots or procedures themselves.  I am more worried about if it doesn't work.  We get 3 attempts covered by insurance and that is all we are doing.  It's scary to think that this could be it in our injertility journey.  Of course I am hoping and praying for positive results but part of me can't help but be worried about the future.