#644 How to Survive an Infertile Halloween

Taken from: http://www.999reasonstolaugh.com/2011/10/644-how-to-survive-an-infertile-halloween/

This time last year, you were starting your first IUI. So how come, a year later, you are no closer to a pregnancy? Another infertile Halloween. Sigh.

Here are some tips on surviving another infertile Halloween:

1. Dress snazzy this Halloween! Dress up as a bottle of Folic Acid, a broken uterus, a negative pregnancy test or an 8.2 celled embryo fertilizing in a petri dish (note: not all costumes are available at Walmart).

2. When kids ring your doorbell, resist the urge to keep them. Stealing a child is very wrong but thinking in your head that you wouldn’t mind keeping your neighbor’s child is perfectly acceptable.


3. Answer the door sobbing and tell the first kid you see about your last failed cycle.

4. Rent the scary movie about the single fallopian tube and its immature egg quality.

5. Give out raisins for Halloween. Eat all the chocolate yourself because you deserve it.

6. Leave a note on the door that says “Sorry kids. No Halloween candy here because I’m ovulating tonight!”

7. Put on a beard and tell everyone you’re dressed as a woman with PCOS.

8. If anyone in your office dresses up as a pregnant woman, mention to your boss that she asked to work overtime this week.

9. Go to your morning fertility appointment dressed as a positive pregnancy test.

10. Answer the door with a smile on your face and hope in your heart. You may not be pregnant this Halloween but one day you will take your future children out trick or treating.

Only an infertile could despise a holiday that is dedicated to chocolate, candy and sugar. Eat up!

Transfer

Everything went well with the transfer today. We transferred two grade 3 (out of 4) eight cell embryos that were treated with the assisted hatching process. Dr. G was very optimistic, which was much better than our worries from our first transfer after growth had slowed. Along with the picture of the embryos above, we received a picture of the embryos post-transfer. If you look at the right dark spot in the picture, you can see some white specks- those are the embryos and the fluid used to transfer them.  We are trying to be hopeful and could use and prayers to help us out!

Retrieval and Fertilization Report

Yesterday was retrieval.  Everything went well!  We got 32 eggs this time- 28 of which were mature and 21 fertilized.  We are having 5 frozen this morning at the 1 cell stage.  The funny thing is that we ended up with the exact same number of mature eggs this time around but 3 more fertilized.  I'm hoping that is a good sign.  I feel pretty lousy yesterday and that is continuing so far today.  I'm so glad I took off today as well as yesterday. 

I started the Crinone (in place of the progesterone shots) yesterday as well as the antibiotic and steroid for the assisted hatching.  We will be transfering at 11 am on Friday!  My plan for today is just to relax and lose the pain so that I can get back to school tomorrow before leaving Friday for the transfer.

Ultrasound #5

I'm done!!  My retrieval is all set for Tuesday morning.  We need to be at the office at 9:15 for a 10:15 retrieval time.  My E2 topped off at 4924 today...much better than last time!  I'm nervous and anxious for everything this week.  I have a bunch of follicles so who knows how many we'll get this time around.  I'd be fine with 2 if it meant they were perfect and would result in a pregnancy.  I take my Ovidrel shot tonight at 10:15 and need to stop drinking water or eating tomorrow before bed.  We are just going to make the drive Tuesday morning, which I think will be better too.  I should have Dr. G for my retrieval again.  I'll get directions for my Crinone and assisted hatching meds at that time.

Ultrasound #4

Another day- another ultrasound.  I'm up to 17.3 mm for my biggest follicles.  Dr. H counted about 10 on the left and maybe 20 on the right.  My E2 is now at 4000.  My dose of Gonal-f was dropped to 75 IU and my Menopur dose will remain at 75 IU.  It looks like tomorrow will be it and should be my trigger night.  That means Tuesday for retrieval and Friday for transfer.  I go back again in the morning for another appointment with Dr. H just to make sure everything is good to go.

Ultrasound #3

Today brought on day 9 of stims and ultrasound #3.  Most of my smaller follicles spent the past 2 days catching up to be around 13 mm.  My E2 level is now over 2300.  I'm a little nervous about it getting higher and not being quite ready for retrieval yet.  My Menopur was lowered to 75 IU while my Gonal-f will remain at 150 IU for tonight.  Ugg I'm just so ready for the stims to be done.  I head back again tomorrow morning for another ultrasound and another round with the vampires of blood work.

Ultrasound #2

I had my 2nd ultrasound yesterday.  I'm still at around 18 follicles with my E2 level being 948.  My biggest follicle is now measuring 11.7 mm.  I return again tomorrow morning for more blood work and another ultrasound.  It's getting closer!

1st Ultrasound

I had my first ultrasound today.  My E2 level is at 236, which is normal I guess.  I had 18 follicles growing- all under 9 mm right now.  I will continue with 150 IU of both Menopur and Gonal-f tonight and tomorrow.  My next ultrasound is Wednesday morning at 7:30.  The travelling back and forth to Rochester is a lot tougher this time around with being back at school.  Oh well!  If it all works, I won't be complaining one bit!!

Stim Time

I took my first 300 IU dose of Gonal-f this evening- I guess we're back in it for real now!  I continue with that dose tomorrow night.  Saturday and Sunday I drop to 150 IU of Gonal-f and add in 150 IU of Menopur.  So far my doses are the same as the first IVF.  But I am being brought in sooner for an ultrasound (Monday).  I also heard back from the office today regarding the assisted hatching idea.  We are a go for that too.  I'll have to do a few more days of antibiotics and steroids starting on retrieval day to prepare for the assisted hatching.  I truly feel like we are doing everything possible this time around.

Baseline

I had my baseline appointment with Dr. G this morning.  He was the same doctor that did my first retrieval back in July.  He remembered my crazy 46 egg fiasco.  The ultrasound and blood work showed that I'm ready to go and I have the green light to start stims on Thursday night (10/13).  I re-confirmed that we would definitely be doing a day 3 transfer vs. a day 5 last time as my embryos starting struggling by day 4.5.  I also asked Dr. G to consider if I should do assisted hatching.  Basically assisted hatching is when the embryologist somewhat "cracks" the "shell" of the embryo.  This makes less work for the embryo.  It would be possible to do this because we are definitely doing a day 3 transfer.  Dr. G said he would definitely look into it and talk to the team about it tomorrow at their meeting.  I trust whatever decision the doctor's make- I just want to do everything possible to make this IVF my last cycle. 

Peace out Apri

I'm officially off the birth control (Apri)!  I'm glad that part is over!  The Lupron is going well so far.  I received the huge box of meds in the mail on Wednesday with 4 boxes of Menopur, 4 boxes of Gonal-f (I now have 7 boxes) and syringes and tips.  Of course I had to take a picture of the mess.

I also picked up my 4 boxes of Crinone and anti-biotic at Wegmans last night. I wish their shopping bags were not so translucent so I did not have to walk through the store with a box labeled "Vaginal Progesterone Suppositories!"

Yesterday was a bit of a rough day as well.  My cousin's wife, who I mentioned on a previous post as being extremely nosey about our infertility business, told me she was pregnant.  We work together at an elementary school.  She came to my classroom after school, shut the door and told me.  I felt so cornered and locked in.  The worst part was the she continued to give me advice on getting pregnant.  She suggested "the lube that you kind of inject up in you."  Thanks, I've tried Pre-seed every single month for almost 3 years.  "You need to relax more.  I know I was stressed after a few months of it not working."  Shut up- seriously.  Don't complain about 3 months.  And don't tell me to relax and imply that I'm doing something wrong.  Finally, in a moment of panic and hoping to get her to shut up, I spilled all about our treatments.  She still didn't get it that our chances of natural conception is about at zero. 

I cried a lot last night and was lucky to have my husband there to take me out for a much needed margarita.  My mom suggested that maybe she talk to my aunt (the twit's mother-in-law) and explain what is going on and tell the twit to leave me alone and stop giving unwanted advice.  I think maybe it is time that some more people in our family know for that exact reason.  As Matt said, some family members might already be wondering why we don't have children have almost 4 years of marriage. 

I'm doing better today.  I can't let her bring me down.  We have no reason why this IVF shouldn't work this month.  I have to focus on that and just move forward.

Attitude

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes. "

~ Charles Swindoll

Hello October

Well it's October 1st and everything began today.  I had my first dose of Lupron this morning.  I'm as ready as I could possibly be to go through IVF again.  By the end of the month I'll be waiting for results, assuming all goes well.  Six more days with birth control and a week and a half until stims.  This should be a fun month...