Monday, October 31, 2011

#644 How to Survive an Infertile Halloween

Taken from:

This time last year, you were starting your first IUI. So how come, a year later, you are no closer to a pregnancy? Another infertile Halloween. Sigh.

Here are some tips on surviving another infertile Halloween:

1. Dress snazzy this Halloween! Dress up as a bottle of Folic Acid, a broken uterus, a negative pregnancy test or an 8.2 celled embryo fertilizing in a petri dish (note: not all costumes are available at Walmart).

2. When kids ring your doorbell, resist the urge to keep them. Stealing a child is very wrong but thinking in your head that you wouldn’t mind keeping your neighbor’s child is perfectly acceptable.

3. Answer the door sobbing and tell the first kid you see about your last failed cycle.

4. Rent the scary movie about the single fallopian tube and its immature egg quality.

5. Give out raisins for Halloween. Eat all the chocolate yourself because you deserve it.

6. Leave a note on the door that says “Sorry kids. No Halloween candy here because I’m ovulating tonight!”

7. Put on a beard and tell everyone you’re dressed as a woman with PCOS.

8. If anyone in your office dresses up as a pregnant woman, mention to your boss that she asked to work overtime this week.

9. Go to your morning fertility appointment dressed as a positive pregnancy test.

10. Answer the door with a smile on your face and hope in your heart. You may not be pregnant this Halloween but one day you will take your future children out trick or treating.

Only an infertile could despise a holiday that is dedicated to chocolate, candy and sugar. Eat up!

1 comment:

  1. I died laughing as I read this Lora!! Hopefully next Halloween both of us will be bringing our babies Trick or Treating:)